I'm so fucking centered right now
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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