i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
