Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
