I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
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