thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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