Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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