Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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