Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
