Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She bit a glass in half.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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