But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
