anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
