my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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