When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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