He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
