bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
