And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
