Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
