If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
