She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
