So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
