I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
