Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
