you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
tequila makes me forget i have legs
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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