not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
