I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
