Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
