he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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