I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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