My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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