that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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