I wish i was in the wii world.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I would fuck him just for his dog
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