the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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