She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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