Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Randomize