On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize