he shaved USA in his pubs
Dignity is for republicans.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
