I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
