Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
