I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
