There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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