have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
