Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
