Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
