yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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