id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
