I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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