He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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