If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
