So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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