Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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