is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
