I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
