me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The power of my boobs compel you
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
