he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
