stop calling my apartment porn island.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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